There you are wishing you could crawl under the backbar and hide.  A wonderful guest who you recall works as a creative executive at a well known magazine has just returned to your bar.  Oh man, if you were to turn them into a regular, this bartending gig of yours could really take off.  A bartending book deal would be in the works, and your admittance into the big leagues a certainty.  There you are getting to rub shoulders with the bartending bigs; you know the ones – the Jeffery Morgenthalers, Jim Meehans, Dale DeGroffs, etc.  Being flown to exotic locales and giving paid lectures to the natives concerning your opinions on best practices with barrel-aging bitters and it’s impact on the modern cocktail.  All this disappears in the blink of an eye when you realize that you don’t know their name!

So take a deep breath because today we will learn how to prevent this from happening in our guide on remembering names and faces.  We will be referencing Edward Stoddard’s How to Remember Names and Faces from Nelson Doubleday’s Personal Success Program.  You can pick up a copy of it here.

Table of Contents

Remembering Faces

  Get a General Impression.

  Pick out a “Tag” Feature.

  Make a Mental Cartoon.

  Get interested.

Remembering Names

  Get the Name.

  Repeat the Name.

  Use the Name.

How to Remember Faces

Regardless of how good or bad your memory is, it can be strengthened and expanded like a muscle.  The following set of rules for building memory is really about honing your attention.  You have to approach people as if you’ll be asked to give an accurate description of what they looked like to a detective at shift’s end.  Your memory is more than adequate to handle any demands you place on it while bartending.  This guide requires that you actively pay attention to whom you meet and develop a habit of trying to commit it to memory.  Let’s start off with just remembering faces.

The First Rule for Remembering Faces

Upon meeting a new guest look them directly in the eye as you shake their hand.  We discussed the power of hand shakes in an earlier post which you can find here.

After shaking their hand, pan your eyes back and take in their entire face while noting two things: a general impression of them and any unique physical features.

General impressions are comprised of looking over their hair, nose, lips, eyes, and chin.  Also note the shape of their head, ears, and neck.  Add all these segments of their appearance up; noting how they fit together to form a picture of the person.

Be aware of any unique or quirky physical feature they may have such as:  a dimple, wrinkle, scar, or odd corner of the mouth.  You’re hunting a specific feature to use as a symbol, or tag, to recall them by.

If they remind you of a famous celebrity or a beloved friend, tell them as it will flatter them that you noticed the resemblance.

Doing this makes a powerful imprint of them on your memory.

The Second Rule for Remembering Faces

Mentally create a cartoon of their face exaggerating the unique feature you tagged earlier.  If they have large ears, imagine them flapping their ears to take flight like Dumbo.  This caricature of them allows you to seize what sets their face apart without losing sight of the general impression they made on you.  A great deal of memory technique is to make things we have to remember seem silly.

Okay now you try.

Imagine five of your friends focusing on their faces.  Close your eyes and tag a unique feature for each one.  Exaggerate each friend’s feature until they become a caricature.

Continue through the rest of this guide only after having mentally created five caricatures.

The Third Rule for Remembering Faces

Your ability to remember faces will become stronger the more you apply the first two rules in this guide.  The final trick for remembering faces is putting forth the effort and being interested enough in your guests to want to remember them.

Every guest you greet at your bar is important.  With the right nurturing, these relationships could open up doors for you potentially changing the course of your life.

How to Remember Names

“Names are harder to remember than faces due to the fact more people are ‘eye’ minded than ‘ear’ minded.  This means that we really notice and remember things we see better than we notice and remember things we hear.”

-Edward Stoddard

The First Rule for Remembering Names

When introductions are being made, get the person’s name.  There may be loud music playing in the background or those introducing may mumble, and you miss hearing the person’s name.  It doesn’t matter.  Get the name immediately upon being introduced to the person.

Stop.  Look.  Listen.

Stop thinking about anything else during the introduction.  Focus only on that person(s).

Look directly at their face(s).

Listen to their name(s).

Stop any disturbance, if possible, and insist on getting their name.

It helps to ask those being introduced their name directly as this will indicate your interest in them.  If the name is an unusual one ask them how they pronounce it or how to spell it.  Don’t proceed any further until you have their name down.

The Second Rule for Remembering Names

Repeat the name.  This could be as simple as responding to the introduction with, “Glad to meet you, Mr. Smith”.  The repetition of hearing it again imprints it more strongly on your memory along with you saying it aloud.  When meeting a group for the first time, as you shake each of their hands repeat each of their names back to them.

The Third Rule for Remembering Names

Use the name.  Engaging your new guests by way of conversation, occasionally use their name.  A natural place for this would be at the beginning or ending of a sentence.  This is especially effective when interacting with a large group you’ve just met.  Remember repetition is a strong aid to memory.

If you’re only able to speak with them briefly then glance at them through-out your shift repeating their name to yourself.  You should combine this with the mental caricature of the person you created upon meeting them initially.

Keep on using it.  After arriving home, recall as many of the faces and their caricatures as you can from your shift.  If allowed by your bar, take a few quick pictures on your phone of bar patrons or large groups you’ve gotten to meet and use those to aid in recalling these new faces and names.  Practice makes perfect.  Drilling these techniques regularly is key to cementing them into your memory.

Now that you have a method for holding onto names and faces, you don’t need to dread recalling a guest’s name.  As you make these techniques a habit, you’ll be amazed at how much your memory bank can store away.  Plus, it’s a power move to remember people’s names after weeks or months away from your bar.  It’s also a sure way to raise your tip average.  Apply, practice, and prosper good bartender.